Letting go, has it been as frustrating for you, as has been for me to hear the age-old advice of ‘go with the flow’? or ‘all in its own time?’
All my life I have heard this statement from our holy text, Bhagwat Gita;
“Karma kar, phal ki chinta mat kar.” Meaning, “Do your action, do not dwell on the fruits of the action” or “Do your action but do not have attachment to the results.”
Personally, for me, I have never been able to give up on my desire for the ‘fruit.’ Without the hope of the ‘fruit,’ what will be the motivation behind the action? Without that desire for change, will there be any commitment towards the ‘goal?’ Where will we, as evolving beings find the strength to keep trying?
And so, I was never able to understand the deeper meaning of these wise words. Now too I would say that I am still exploring the tip of a very big iceberg. So, what has been my discovery so far?
I have been trying to open a restaurant in Barcelona for more than a year now. My ‘Why’ has been to create a space to bring people closer through food and get inspired towards action to make their own dreams a reality. But my dream keeps bumping into its own roadblocks!!
My first milestone was getting the right place and licenses in order… check! Letting go, It took us more than a year for this! Every month during this time, I felt that we had the papers in hand, only to hear the dreaded “No!”- Every month. It was a rollercoaster of emotions from hopes and aspirations, keeping tight hold of that positivity, to days of negativity and helplessness. Note: not hopelessness!
Finally, I decided to give up on the ‘expectation of hearing a yes’ and started focusing my energies in other directions. I decided to take care of myself… physically, mentally and spiritually. I started looking at other options of work and ways to upgrade my skills. I joined the gym and enrolled myself to become a life skills coach.
And lo and behold; the moment my attention was diverted, and I was focused on other things, within three months I suddenly got the ‘Yes’ news I was waiting for over a year!
I hadn’t lost the hope of opening the restaurant. I still held the dream very close to my heart. I was just no longer obsessing about the results every day. I was no longer trying to control the timing. I was still taking the actions required; but didn’t really have desperate expectations for it to happen. Taking care of myself and giving myself space to be mentally free was the key to this milestone.
And then came the desire for the second milestone. To open the restaurant! Did I learn from my lesson from the first milestone? In theory yes, in practice… obviously not!