As a business owner, do you feel you are at a crossroad in the ‘suddenly’ changing world? That it’s a long hard road to success?
The need of the hour is to change, quickly learn and adapt to new practices and models that best serve our customer, keeping in mind the costs and revenues; not to mention the still unclear rules and regulations governing our sector.
So how do we make this ‘unfamiliar world’ familiar?How do we rewire ourselves towards Success?
These are uncertain times where everything we have taken for granted has seemed to have changed. Just breathing in open air and walking on the street feels like ‘freedom.’ Many of us are still weary and are still thinking twice about accessing this ‘freedom.’ I still haven’t gotten used to the long disinfection process I have to undertake every time I reenter my home, let alone my workplace. These are some small changes which are daunting, and we all need to make that extra effort to make them ‘familiar.’
With this ‘unfamiliar’ way of life, thinking of reopening my restaurant fills me with fear.
How will we take orders? How can we ensure safety for everyone? What extra expenditures are involved? How many people will want to eat in the restaurant? How do we organize deliveries? Will we survive this? How do I take care of my daughter when she will be at home? What will be allowed in 2 weeks.. 1 month.. 2 months? What will still not be allowed?
And in the midst of all this, I came across a talk by Marisa Peers, therapist and behavioral expert . She said the only difference between those who are highly successful and those who are not is that, the former “do it any way.” And what are the practices we need to adopt to “do it anyway?”
- Change the words and images in your head: “Most important words we hear are the words that we say to ourselves.” stresses Marisa Peers. The body sensations of elevated heartbeat, sweaty palms, quick breathing… these are the same when we experience fear or excitement. Your brain will give a name to these sensations based on ‘habit’- the term we have mostly used for these feelings. So, when we experience these sensations, we can choose to think of this experience as ‘fear’ or ‘excitement’. Keeping in mind our goal of success we can choose to tell our brain that “I feel excited about this challenge.” Or “This is an exciting opportunity to learn and diversify.” “I have extraordinary coping power.” “I have all the skills and capability to achieve this.” This is our time to rewire our brains towards more optimistic ‘I know’, ‘I can’, ‘I deserve’ ways of thinking. Because our brain will only do as it thinks we want it to do.
If this feels ‘insincere’ or ‘untruthful’ in some way, the best way forward is to start with gratitude. A simple ‘thank you’ for who you are right now. A smile for what you have and a pat on your back for your journey that has brought you here. “I am grateful as I am enough…”
- Do what you dislike: Often what comes in the way of success is our ‘discomfort’ in doing something. And that ‘something’ would be the small missing step on the ladder. If you are struggling with the question “I don’t know what to do? I have tried everything.” Here lies your answer. That thing which you still haven’t tried or tried enough, is the thing you ‘dislike’… the thing that is at the back of your mind, but you have made a million excuses to not do. Like: asking for help, doing the paperwork, spending money on something particular, sitting down to write and organize a specific plan, learning a new skill, making a phone call, voicing out an opinion, confronting someone, pitching for yourself, being seen. For anyone to grow and realize their dream, we have to get uncomfortable and do things we dislike. Just identify what you dislike in today’s changing scenario. That’s your first indication of your next step to take.
Ask yourself “What habit/ belief system/ thought process no longer serves me to take this action?” “How do I let it go?” “What is the new habit/ belief system or thought process that I need to adopt, to be able to take this action every day?” “How do I welcome this into my life?”
- Doing what they dislike every day, 7 days a week: (at least in the beginning) Breathing energy into your goal every day, even if it is only 15 to 20 minutes. Consistency is the key. This is the only way to make the ‘unfamiliar’- ‘familiar.’ Breaking a habit and commanding your brain to start taking pleasure in the new action is a slow process. It is only with consistency, can the new action become familiar and pleasurable. And I feel that here lies the ‘secret’ to the ‘law of attraction.’ When positive thought gets converted into action- things start moving. When positive thought get converted into action that comes with pleasure- major shifts happen.
Keeping in sight the larger goal is the only motivator during this time. So, make sure that your ‘Why’ for doing this is very big. Ask yourself “Why do I want this?” “What part of me will be expressed or realized through this success?” “Is the goal in alignment with my values?” “Who else will benefit when this dream is realized?” When the reason for the end goal is clear and dear, it becomes the fuel to take on all the boring and scary tasks on the way.
- Doing what they dislike first: I confess that this is something I am struggling with right now. But I also have learnt that it’s also about being gentle with yourself. This challenges my comfort with procrastination of all things hard or uncomfortable. So here comes the role of discipline and persistence… and faith to have the positive will power to do it NOW. After all, the ‘Why’ for this process is too important. Doing it first, gives you a taste of accomplishment and confidence that carries forward into your day. It further fuels the positive thought ‘I know’, ‘I can’, ‘I deserve.’
And this is linked to saying “No” to all things not so important or that take away from who you are and where you are going. And it is also linked to saying “Yes” to some self-pampering and self-care. Because every effort deserves a reward. So be kind to yourself and give yourself permission to laugh and get comfort in small ways. But the key is to delay the gratification. Postpone the pleasure a bit. Make the ‘unfamiliar’- familiar first. But also keep in mind that sometimes the unfamiliar which needs to become familiar is ‘taking gentle care of yourself.’
- Keep going despite ‘opinions’: Fear of rejection/ criticism/ doing the unexpected, are big reasons for most of us abandoning our dreams midway. I have always shied away from social media and putting myself out there for people to see me or accept or reject ‘me’. But no personal or professional growth can happen without us showing our vulnerable side. The challenge is to stand in your truth without apologizing. Give yourself the permission to change.
Ask yourself “What is bigger- your reason for the goal or your fear of rejection?”
So, choose to feel excited and make the ‘unfamiliar’- familiar. If this time feels hard today; it is the right moment of opportunity; the right place to ‘be’ for personal and professional success.
Hard, scary, unfamiliar, or uncomfortable… the highly successful people choose to “Do it any way…”
“What is more important to you- Your love for your dream or your dislike to make that change?”
Owner Kriti Restaurant